Saturday, April 19, 2014

From rape and tragedy to forgiveness and victory: the Joy Tan-Chi story

I hope you all are having a great Holy Week / Lenten season.  As for me, it’s a staycation (staying home vacation) where I just simply rest—which I badly need—and catch up on good books and chilling with family.

One of the highlights of my Holy Week was watching the true story of Joy Tan-Chi Mendoza on TV yesterday.  She was a good, very innocent, teenage girl: never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, etc.  But then a group of thugs broke into the family home, tied up her siblings (their parents were away), stolen their goods…and then the worst nightmare happened: they (7-8 of them) violated her innocence by raping her.  That’s not the end of this tragic yet amazing story, because from rape and tragedy comes forgiveness and victory.  


This indeed is the true to life Joy Tan-Chi Mendoza story, and I’m so glad I found the video on youtube.  It’s divided into four parts, and I will feature all of them here.  WATCH IT!!!  I know the story even before the TV reenactment of it, but it’s here where we see where the impact to the family, even many years later, is still so evident and poignant.  Enjoy—and prepare to be moved to the very core, as this is one of the greatest examples of the adage that God uses even the most horrible of events for great good.











As the video said, Joy also has a beautiful blog called Teach With Joy, where she shares various tips on parenting, homeschooling, and, most importantly, the goodness of God.  Check that out, and like the blog's facebook page as well.

For those who have been around my site for some time, you’d know that Peter Tan-Chi is the senior pastor of the church I go to, Christ’s Commission Fellowship or CCF for short.  My family goes to the CCF church in Cagayan de Oro City, where we are active in various ministries there.

Peter Tan-Chi is also one of the greatest parenting speakers in this country.  He, with Francis Kong, has done two huge events here in CDO, Parenting Winners in 2010, and iChange/ParenTEEN just last year.  Here’s my secret: just about every parenting lesson you get from this site is from what he has said AND done (see here, and here).  That’s how much I look up to this family, and that’s why Joy's story moves me so (I look up to Joy and Edric a lot as well).

I will end this blog entry with some books for you in case you are also going through your own season of strife.  These can further speak into your life and help you process it.  God bless you all, and continue to enjoy your Holy Week.  Remember, we’re celebrating a weekend that changed the world forever.  Here’s my favorite song for this Holy Week, The Anthem by Planetshakers, to put an exclamation point why this week is so special.  This song just nails it.



Recommended Reading:

(This blog site, Lessons Of A Dad is mostly about parentingmarriage, and other topics aimed to develop the reader’s mind, body, and soul.  I’d consider it an honor if you’d follow or subscribe to this site.  You can also go to my Facebook page here, and I’m also on Twitter at @lessonsofadad)

43 comments:

  1. Thanks for posting this. I was in the house the night of the robbery. There were actually seven men and three women. - David Navis

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    1. Wow, really? Were these guys ever caught?

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    2. So all 7 raped her... I really admire her courage to forgive these people... I still think JUSTICE must be served. They must be jailed for the rest of their lives.

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    3. -i salute you nakayanan kht ganyan ang nangyari sau sana ung ibang victim kagaya m matapang


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    4. I cried when I watched the video. I wasnt able to watch it from the start on Tv. Good Lord, this time, please protect my baby from evil. To this family, i admire you all. May God bless us all.

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    5. Jailed the corrupt judges first before the criminals

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  2. Thanks for posting! :) I read Joy's blog as well because it is very inspiring. :)

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  3. Praise God for this testimony! Indeed, we may not understand everything that happens to us. But we have faith that God loves, knows, and wants the best for His children!

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  4. God has always been there with you, watching. Just watching.

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  5. "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
    God is so Good...thank you for sharing this story, I'am a Dad too...I was watching this testimony of truth, and my tears are flowing and feel the pain of your suffering...God’s love is amazing, He can transform your bad experiences and turn them into examples of His love and forgiveness. If God can turn her into a beacon of righteousness, there’s hope for all of us. God bless your family...God bless us!!!

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  6. I stand in awe and amazement how my Lord turn a mess into something that will inspire people to go on in life despite of a catastrophic event that happened. Joy thanks for sharing your story. This is not the end of your story!!! I'm blessed watching your story. My turn will come someday to tell my story too.

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  7. I admire the faith and strength of the Tan-Chi family, especially Joy's. However, It's unsettling to know that 'forgiveness' meant letting 7 rapists/robbers roam free.

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    1. I agree with you. Who knows who else did they rob/rape after that.

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    2. Yes in a short period of life span here on earth. But if they will not repent. God will deal with them when the time comes. " for the battle [is] not yours, but God's."

      God Bless! :)

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    3. Our just God will not allow those who do evil go unpunished. Those 7 rapists/robbers may have walked away scot-free, but they would definitely pay for their crime in God's time and way.

      If I'm not mistaken, there was a rumor back then that those criminals were caught in another robbery incident later on.

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  8. This very inspiring story tells us that God has a message in some tragedies in our lives. He allows certain events to happen for a reason. Painful as it may be, we should learn to accept, forgive and eventually the healing comes. Whatever trials and tribulations we encounter in our daily lives, we should be thankful to the Lord for his reasons for allowing them to happen...

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  9. i was inspired by their story.. Truly God will never leave us nor forsake us.. He's working in our lives though sometimes we dont feel it but then God is faithful to His children.. Trust God for He knows best..

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  10. "Let us forgive those who trespassed against us..." But JUSTICE must be served... These guys are EVIL... Yung mapagnakawan ka pwede palagpasin pero yung mang rape ka ng 15 yrs old ay kailanman hindi pwedeng palampasin. I still hope your family will put these guys behind bars... its never too late to find JUSTICE. God Bless your family. Thanks for sharing your story.

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  11. I would really like to watch this video but I'm not sure I'm ready to forgive just yet.. I'm also a rape victim.. It ruined my life!

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    1. Then you NEED to watch this. It's your first big step towards healing. They don't gloss over the hurt and the evil...but their response is something all of us can learn from (and have within us as well). God bless you, ma'am. He heals.

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  12. Thanks for posting, Their story is very inspiring. God bless to all

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  13. God is really good...and too powerful everything have a purpose. . I salute u joy for your strength to face all this..

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  14. Forgiveness is for God.....Justice is for men....Forgive them but jail them ...respect the law of man as it is a way of showing respect to God....

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  15. I admire your faith which gave you strength to forgive them... but I will admire you more if you will bring justice to our hearts who cry for it for your daughter. Those evils had violated not only the innocence of your child but also the minds and hearts of every people who believe in peace..... They broke our peace ... they violated our peaceful heart and mind... THEY MUST BE PUNISHED ACCORDING TO THE LAW OF MAN!

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  16. It's my first time visiting here and I just want to say that it is very refreshing to read a blog that is written by a dad! Teach with Joy is one of the few blogs that I really read, and Lessons of a Dad has just been added to it. I think I will hang out a lot here from now one.

    I've heard about Joy's story and her blog from her mom, Deonnah, Ptr. Peter's wife when she spoke during the Christian Military Wives gathering at Camp Aguinaldo late last year. It was truly inspiring how God truly works even if sometimes we wonder why bad things happen to good people.

    God bless your family and blogging life. Continue to be a salt and light though this blog. :)

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    1. My apologies for taking so long to reply. Glad you're blessed by this awesome family. I feature Pastor Peter on my blog more than any other person. Thanks for the kudos as well.

      Oh, there are some GREAT dad blogs out there. www.allprodad.com is one of them.

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  17. #JusticeForJoyTanchi

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  18. Thank you for sharing!!!
    Her faith healed her completely
    i remember and realize if something bad happen i hold to word of Jesus Christ
    John 9:3 (NIV)
    "Neither this man nor parents sinned" said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life

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  19. Forgiveness is a message from the victim to rapist saying that: go ahead rape again,we are nice people and when you rape I will forgive you ( not that I am inviting to rape me again to mess my life but I am giving you a Mess-age that is ok to rape people.
    How stupid is this and where is the inspiration reading this>?

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    1. They know their heart and their response are their responsibility unto the Lord. They forgive as the Lord has forgiven them. Don't they have the right to choose how to respond to the bad things that happen to them? Or are you envious that they are merciful and are now reaping the fruit it?
      They completely understood God's mercy and justice. True justice only comes from the Lord. They look unto God to deliver it in due time. Isaiah 61:8 "For I, the LORD, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them."

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    2. Forgiving is letting that terrible thing in your life go, finding that strength to not only live but live to the fullest despite the tragedy. It's NEVER a sign of encouragement to those who wronged you to commit their mistakes again, rather when you forgive, it's planting that seed in their hearts and thoughts that it's never too late to turn back from the bad things they've done. If you don't forgive, the hate will fester in you and destroy you from the inside out.

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    3. Are you even out of your mind and insensitive?! They choose not to sue but to forgive. I would agree they should have brought these people in jail but common be sensitive by choosing the right words.

      To the family: The Filipino people will not tolerate these guys. WE CAN HELP YOU FIND JUSTICE. I still believe now that you came out in public, now is the perfect time to find JUSTICE.

      #JusticeForJoyTanchi

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  20. I cried while watching the video. My daughter was raped recently by a schoolmate in a big university in manila. I just began serving the LORD and thia happened to my daughter. BUT i still hold to the truth of GOD's words. I love my daughter but I trust my GOD with our lives. I still pray that whatever actions we do now will be blessed by GOD. I will let my daughter watch this testimony.

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    1. WOW!! I'm so glad this little article has brought healing in you, and I hope it does to her too. I'm so, so, sorry for what has happened to her. Rape is one of the most evil things men can do. Praying for your family, especially your precious girl.

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  21. Wether good or bad happened only God knows. God is in control.

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  22. This really brought me to tears. Thanks for sharing. Jesus, I trust in you!

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  23. Kahanga-nga ang katapangan mo at subrang faith mo at ng buong pamilya mo kay God,ang aking paniniwala sa ating Panginoon ay lalong tumibay at nadagdagan,thnx to you Lord for giving joy a happy family life. God Bless Us All

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  24. She is an example of a brave woman. My respect and admiration for her overflows. God is really Good. (Well I can't stop humming footprints in the sand while reading this)

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    1. He is good indeed. She is a peerless healer and counselor to battered and abused women. Did you check out her blog? She seems so blessed and whole. A lot of friends were so shocked that the blogger and the victim here are the same person.

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  25. Very inspiring and motivating to some people but not for others. The damaged done must be paid with same amount of pain or more.

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    1. I understand the rage and the clamor for justice (or is it vengeance in the name of justice).

      Imagine, though if Joseph, after seeing his brothers again after so many years, the same brothers who threw him into a pit and solid him into slavery, decided that "the damage done must be paid with the same amount of pain or more." We'd have a much different Bible now, would we.

      While the assailants should definitely pay for their crime, what is so inspiring is how the family, and Joy in particular, rose above this mess by the help and grace of God. She is now such a positive beacon for women. A lot of girls' lives are wrecked by circumstances much less severe than what she went through.

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  26. It's admirable on how she rose from tragedy and eventually found a way to forgive and move on.

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  27. This is the second time I heard a rape cases in Antipolo. the first one is a group of students. These group of Akyat Bahay gang are protected by hoodlum in uniformed. I have a Bible student in 1986-87 who is a former Akyat bahay gang, according to him they got protection and one time they even killed their victim and the police let them run away. I knew a newly wed was also rape in front of her husband by a group of akyat bahay gang and the leader is also a policeman. I think we should do some thing to stop this group and the hoodlum in uniformed.

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