Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Reality Discipline -- an easy way to improve your parent life

I came across a wonderful article  called “The Wonders of Reality Discipline” from the website of one of my favorite parenting sources, Focus on the Family.

Coined by noted child psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman, author of Have a New Kid by Friday, Reality Discipline could make your parent life much easier if your current parenting style often involves ranting, raving, shouting, begging, etc. 

Basically, it’s like this (using Dr. Leman’s words), “there are times when you have to pull the rug out and let the little buzzards tumble.  I mean disciplining your children in such a way that he/she accepts responsibility and learns accountability for his actions.”

My boss, a parenting authority in my circles, often uses this example:  “If your child goes to school and forgets his lunch box, don’t bail him out by bringing it to him later in the day.  Let him starve.  The next day, your son will be a different boy and will never forget his lunch box again.” 
Hey Timmy!  You forgot your...d'oh

If you think that it's a mean way to discipline your child, it's not...far from it.

If your motive is to love your child by teaching him to grow into a responsible young man, then this is a very loving thing to do.  What is unloving is to give harsh, demeaning punishment out of anger and spite.  What is also unloving is that you have everything done for your little kid, having nannies/yayas left and right.  What kind of an adult will that boy grow up into?  That would ruin him, a very unloving thing to do, indeed.

So you should check out the article on Reality Discipline.    You should also check out Dr. Leman’s book, Have a New Kid by Friday (there's also a "Have a new teen..." version and, LOL, a "Have a new husband..." version).  But before you click on the link below here’s another quote I love from Dr. Leman:

“The goal of parenting is not to create happy kids; rather, it’s to create responsible kids.”

So do your parent life a favor, discipline your child using reality discipline.  Go to the Focus on the Family article, here.

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