Be careful with your parenting style, folks, because all parents influence their children. The issue is, are we influencing them positively or negatively? Below is a video that very powerfully shows how strong our influence as parents can be.
|"I'm gonna be just like my daddy!"|
But, hey, I am sometimes guilty of this, too. I’m kind of a messy person, yet I tell my kids to keep their rooms clean as much as possible. So do they follow what I say or what I do? Well, let’s just say that when you come over my house, stay downstairs.
This Friday, September 8, 2011, at CCF, my young couples group will tackle the 2nd session of PARENTING THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE, titled: HOW TO POSITIVELY INFLUENCE YOUR CHILDREN.
Our first session was fantastic, and our group discussions that evening were some of the most engaging and animated in our long history of engaging and animated discussions. I’m sure this coming session will be even more so.
The foreword for the workbook goes like this: “This session will give you practical guidelines on how to draw close to your children in order for you to positively influence them. Maintaining good relationships is the key to influence and so will be the main focus here.” Sounds good to me.
So how do we positively influence our kids? Do you want to find out?
Here’s the short answer: the main points of the session we’ll take up this Friday. Of course, there are LOTS of points within these main points, but since most of you can’t attend, this anemic list will have to do:
1. Good MODELING. You have to be the person that you want them to become. I’m not talking about perfection, because that’s impossible. I’m talking about authenticity.
Philippians 3:17 – “Brethren, join me in following my example, and observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in us.”
2. Good RELATIONSHIP. The closer the relationship, the greater the influence.
1 Corinthians 15:33 – “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals.’”
3. TIME. The more time you spend with the person, the greater is your influence on him/her.
Deuteronomy 6:7 – “And you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”
4. LISTENING. the more you LISTEN to your children the more you UNDERSTAND them and the more you understand them the more you can INFLUENCE them.
James 1:19-20 - "This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."
5. POSITIVE words. Boy oh boy do Pinoy parents have a problem with this one. But the truth is, words impact lives.
Proverbs 18:21 – “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Ephesians 4:29 – “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need at the moment that it may give grace to those who hear.”
6. UNCONDITIONAL love. Harsh rules do not positively change a person. Unconditional love does.
Romans 5:8 – “But God demonstrates His love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
7. Expect the BEST. What we expect our kids to be, they will live up to it. If we think they’re stupid, they become stupid. But if we expect the best from them, they will soar and even demolish our expectations.
Philippians 1:6 – “ For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
Now, do you want the long answer? Well, there’s way too much content in this study to give it to you on this blog. Not only does the speaker, Peter Tan Chi, tell you WHAT you have to do (the outline above), but he gives you techniques on HOW to make it happen...and I can't put it here. The only way you can get my long answer, the answer you deserve, is to…JOIN US!
My wife and I lead a group of about 7 young couples (late 20’s to early 30’s) and we would love to have you aboard. We learn from each other (in addition to the fantastic material we use), strengthen each other, encourage each other, and become accountable to each other.
Make this effort to Positively Influence Our Children by joining us. The consequences of our failure here is too great. Leave a comment or an email to let me know you’re interested.
Update: Check out my blog on our 3rd session, which talks about how to discipline your children without shouting. That blog post also teaches you the right way to spank your child.
You can also check out other books I recommend for dads and you can also check out the rest of my parenting articles here.